"It's Lehr's bracing bluntness and hilarious self-deprecation as she struggles to understand her sexuality and marriage that make this such a riveting read."
                                                                                                            — Elle
"It's Lehr's bracing bluntness and hilarious self-deprecation as she struggles to understand her sexuality and marriage that make this such a riveting read."
                                                                                                            — Elle

ILL-EQUIPPED FOR A LIFE OF SEX

"Brilliant, razor sharp." — Us Weekly
"It's Lehr's bracing bluntness and hilarious self-deprecation as she struggles to understand her sexuality and marriage that make this such a riveting read—though the stunning photos of Lehr and her loves, past and present, don't hurt."
                                                                                                            Elle

Unstintingly honest about topics that most people would rather die than admit to."

                                                                                                                                   Susie Bright

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"We quickly became the typical I-must-talk-to-you-every-night-and-drive-over-to-your-house-at-10-p.m.-because-I-absolutely-cannot-go-to-sleep-if-I'm-not-in-the-same-bed-as-you couple falling in love...But just as quickly our honeymoon period came to an end. At first it wasn't clear. And then it was very clear. And then it was so fucking clear that John and I found ourselves driving to Beverly Hills for couples therapy." 

ILL-EQUIPPED FOR A LIFE OF  SEX: A MEMOIR (HarperCollins, 2003) looks back at Lehr’s life (sexual history, botched romances, neurotic parents) while tracing her and her boyfriend’s bumpy progress towards marriage.  A provocative, courageously honest, poignant, and ultimately cheering chronicle of one woman's sexual odyssey, Ill-Equipped for a Life of Sex is the quintessential modern-era love story — complete with confused expectations, myths of romantic love, and the overriding hope that a successful relationship can be forged from the rubble. 

 

Lehr wrote much of Ill-Equipped at the renowned artist colony Yaddo—an experience she writes about in the book. Uniquely, the paperback includes a response from Lehr’s husband John writing about how he felt about his wife exposing the details of their struggles with intimacy. Ill-Equipped was optioned by Warner Brothers and ABC ordered a pilot script co-written by Lehr and Seinfeld writer Peter Mehlman. In 2016, Audible editor-at-large Susie Bright acquired and produced the audiobook bringing ll-Equipped  to a new audience.

READERS RESPOND:

“Not only is it compelling and fun, but it's also enlightening because Lehr is willing to explore and question even the sacrosanct levels of relationships usually kept at a safe, aspirational distance. Lehr is a gutsy, energetic and seemingly effortless writer, her tone accessible and universal. I'd put it up there with Proust and Dorothy Parker with regard to its humor and social insights. This is an important book.

 

“One cannot but be moved, changed, outraged, empathetic, titillated, sobered, enriched, absorbed, highly engaged and ultimately left feeling more human (for good or naught). A stunning achievement.” 

 

“Fascinating. I found it humorous, moving, intriguing. I would thoroughly recommend giving this a try, who knows it may just change your view on life, it did for me. Are any of us equipped for a life of sex?”

 

 “Jennifer Lehr is awesome in her honesty (which can make you cringe, to put it mildly). She single-handedly shows the screwed-up intimacy issues so many people (like, the whole nation!) have but would never admit toA real page-turner.”

 

“WHOA! This is a brave memoir of love and sex and self-reflection that must be read by everyone in, or out, starting or ending a relationship.”

 

“Lehr has the divine courage to tell the truth — which has the power to free people who read it...who now, like me, don't feel so alone. That is the greatest gift you can give to anyone! Amazing!”

 

 “You’ll find yourself spending an insane amount of time reading this in one sitting. Be prepared to laugh, to cry, and to say, "Oh my God, I've felt like that too!" The naked truth is always far better than fiction and Jennifer shows her soul. Who couldn't admire that?”

 

As real as it gets. This is not for the squeamish, but for anyone who has ever struggled in love, Jennifer Lehr's book tells a real story with unblinking frankness. Jennifer's is the first book that tells it as it is, with an amazingly frankness that takes clever, humorous stock of the way her inherited attitudes about love, money and sex shape her through her dating years and into marriage.”

 

Lehr describes events so universally experienced, yet something that no one speaks of. And she does so honestly. I have no doubt this book would relieve young girls fears toward their sexuality and insufficiencies and they would see they are not alone. Every couple through what she describes in her book one way or another. They are messy and awkward and uncomfortable. I viewed many things with "new eyes" because of her shared experiences.”

 

Her voice is amazing. Her intelligence and humor are sharp as hell. It's a compassionate book. I related to it. It was a joy to read something so significant to my own life as a married person.”